Wearing a Regal Crown

"Queen" by Stephanie Marrott

 "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." ~Proverbs 12:4

When I was in high school, I always wanted to be elected to the homecoming court.  I think I thought it was the pinnacle of beauty and popularity.  It was one of those "things" I always admired, but never expected would be for me.  I think I rather dreaded those silly elections, really. The same people always "won" them.  Especially one of my best friends, who would inevitably be the queen.  I rather thought she deserved it too.  Not only was she beautiful in appearance and deportment, she was beautiful in spirit.


I always thought those tiaras were exquisite.  I now know that they are the inexpensive, costume kind of adornment.  But when I was young, they might as well have been made of diamonds.  I just thought they were so pretty.


And then it happened!  In my senior year, I was elected to the homecoming court.  I was stunned.  I was also truly grateful.  When I got to wear that crown....oh, I thought it was one of the most delightful days ever!


I kept that crown.  I kept it for a long time.  I kept it and admired it.  When my first little girl reached the age of princesses and dress-up, I let her wear it for play.  And one day it broke.  I was disappointed, but happy that my own little girls did have some enjoyment out of it before it had to be retired.


I have been meditating on what it means to be my husband's crown--a far more meaningful crown with the potential to be something truly exquisite.  


I think it's fascinating that the Hebrew word for crown in the context of Proverbs 12:4 is "atarah."    Hmmmm.....sounds kind of like "tiara." (And in fact, my Webster's 1828 dictionary says it is so).  It comes from the root word "atar" which says, in Strong's Concordance, "To encircle--for attack or protection."  I think of this as a couple of things:  1.)  That we truly can act as a "protection" to our husbands and marriages, and 2.) that together with our husbands we have the ability to attack---think of waging spiritual warfare, or countering the disintegration of marriage and the family all around us.


Webster's 1828 Dictionary says that a crown is an ornament worn on the head by kings or sovereign princes, as a badge of imperial or regal power and dignity.  Yes, dignity!  This is not the inferior woman without worth that our society wants to say that a wife is.  A crown is worn upon the head, not trampled underfoot.  I love the term "co-regents" to describe how a husband and wife rule together.  This doesn't mean our roles are the same, but that they complement each other in ruling the dominion God has given us together.


Webster's also says that a crown is "honor; splendor; dignity."  There's that word again.  I hope that you are grasping just what an honor it is to be your husband's virtuous wife.


So now I come to thinking about jewels.  I always think crowns are adorned with precious and beautiful jewels.  Lately I have been contemplating what it looks like to be adding jewels to this crown.  Sad to say that there have been some jewels missing at times.  Nancy Campbell says, "The more richly you crown him, the more you will be blessed."  So what kind of jewels are you putting in your crown?  I encourage you to read this article by Nancy Campbell to discover all of the different facets of jewels you might seek to put in your husband's crown.


I am quite sentimental.  I like to look for objects that remind me of where I have been, of what I have learned, of what I aspire to be, or of character traits I want to develop.  A few years ago I found this bracelet.  One of its beautiful little jewel charms has since fallen off, but I still love it and it reminds me to pay attention to how I can be a crown to my husband. 

So instead of that juvenile tiara I possessed once upon a time, I like to think that I now have graduated to a more full-orbed and beautiful crown.  There are still missing jewels and it's not yet reached its full splendor, but day-by-day I hope that I am adding to its beauty.